52 Days In, Still No Count Recovery

The worst is over, or at least so we think. Oceana's appetite has returned. She finally vomited the NG Tube after almost a week of feeling in constant misery: "Put it on hold" Oceana would scream, banging her head against the pillow; "Put it on hold until I fall asleep!" anxiously Oceana would exclaim, obsessing over the fact that she despised the tube to begin with. Thankfully, the tube did serve her well as it established balance within her stomach finally ending her daily emisis and fortunately kick starting her digestion so that she once again developed hunger. Once the tube came out, Oceana negotiated with the Drs. that she could and would eat in order not to have to have the tube again. She succeeded so far and thus the quality of hospital life has improved greatly for us all.

Ok, all seems well, except that Oceana is not making blood cells. At this point, she has had countless red blood transfusions, platelet transfusions, a short-lived allergic reaction that set her eating schedule behind a bit, triple doses of antibiotics around the clock and anti-nausea meds on demand. After the last phase, Oceana had started count recovery within 30 days and we were recovered and on home stay between phases within 42 days. Now, she hasn't even started the recovery process and is 52 days in! I have already asked the Docs over a week ago, is there a possibility that there won't be a count recovery? The answer was no, there is always count recovery. Wheww!

However, at the end of last week, I was told that if we didn't see any recovery over THIS weekend, the Drs. will want to perform a bone aspirate Monday (tomorrow 7/26) to determine if there is a "bone marrow infection." The biopsy is now evident since there has not been any count recovery over the weekend. I will now learn about something I didn't even know existed, the possibility of bone marrow infection. Not so alarming actually, considering the fact that I didn't understand anything about AML 7 months ago. What a way to continually gain an education.

The good news is that if all goes well we may actually be able to make our family reunion after all. This will help us tremendously, to be around family in a relaxed environment. I have mentioned to the Drs. that for Oceana's psychological state (and mine), we could really use this break. This can only happen if Oceana can have high enough blood count recovery before August 15th. We couldn't last a day out of the hospital under the current conditions. Heal, Oceana, heal!

As far as my psychological state to those concerned, I can only compare it to living in a different dimension. What was real is no longer real as our reality has been completely altered. What was important doesn't seem as important anymore with the exception of Oceana's success. Somehow, we have managed to continue DMA Transportation. Actually, the business is a key distraction for my psychological well being; a reminder that I have a purpose outside the hospital. Hospital life has taken it's toll and I have made mistakes, more mistakes then I have ever made in my career. Thank you for those of you who have overlooked my errors and continue your valued loyal support. DMA Transportation has a fantastic clientele built and developed sinced 2003. Thank you for making this company what it is today and continuing to support it during these chaotic times. A special thanks to Rob and Marcy Fenza, Tim Sheridan and family, Gloria Pasline, Gene and Roz Chaiken, Dan Chu, Nani Shin-Wannemacher, George Rafferty, Sister Tobie, Brian Biddulph Krentar, Steve Gansler and anyone else that I may have forgotten to mention, for keeping us in mind and keeping the company alive.